


My Dreams (2020 Version.)

by anishahello



Category: No Fandom, Original Work
Genre: Attempted Murder, Blood and Injury, Character Death, Crying, Dead People, Depression, Everyone is Dead, Fear, Gun Violence, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Lucid Dreaming, Murder, One Shot Collection, Other, Panic Attacks, Paranoia, References to Depression, Threats of Violence, Tragedy, Triggers, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-12
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:02:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25212106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anishahello/pseuds/anishahello
Summary: DOING A 2020 VERSION YA'LL,Last time I did this was in 2018, and got five chapters out. Didn't know how to tag this properly on mobile, so there aren't that many tags.Anyways, these are the dreams I have at night. This is my dream journal on Ao3
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4





	1. Murder School? Murder School.

**_Dream One, July 2nd, 2020:_ **

Wandering around a school that's not mine, but a school I've been to before in my dreams. This isn't lucid dreaming, I'm walking in a school you would have idealised as a dream school after watching one too many teen school TV shows. I can't place what the school looked like exactly, having been too paranoid. I've been here before, but I don't have good memories. Sitting in class, listening to a teacher that looks like every teacher I've had, yet this face does not belong to anyone I have ever known. The classroom doesn't look dangerous, and it even looks like a school I would enjoy going to. But the atmosphere is tense, and something in me says that no one around me is a good person. I'm surrounded by people who want me dead. But that's not the worst part.

There's screaming in the halls, and I somehow know why. They're killing each other. People are dying, I can feel it. All of a sudden, I'm outside the classroom, and a pale boy with black hair is bruised and bloody, lying in the middle of a hallway being ignored and unseen by everyone but me. With strength I don't normally have, I take the pale boy to the nurses' office. I walk through a campus I could've sworn I've seen before, but I know that I haven't been here before. The boy in my arms doesn't look any better when we get to the nurses' office, and things don't get better when I get there. The nurse has a faint look to an anime character I know, but a name never comes to mind. Without thinking, I finally speak. "What happened to him? Is he gonna make it? When can I go home?" I almost feel selfish for the last question, but at that moment I realise that I'm dreaming. 

The nurse shakes her head, "The kids around here are brutal, I don't think he's gonna survive his injuries. Someone injured like him can't be wandering our halls. He's dying here. You on the other hand, can't wake up yet. Not yet. You still have so many things to do here." Like many recent dreams of mine, I'm filled with a fear knowing that I'm dreaming, but I can't escape. I turn over to the boy on the bed, hardly hanging onto life, and make a move to sit with him until he dies. No one deserves to die alone, and something tells me he's not going to be alive for much longer. I'm dragged outside of the health office before I can do so, and my entire body goes cold hearing a gunshot go off in the health office. The nurse shot the kid. I lead him to get murdered by the very person that was supposed to help him. I should've seen that coming. I could've saved his life. This is my dream, so why am I not in control? I know I'm dreaming.

"You hearing me you stupid fucking bitch? It's murder time! I've been calling your fucking name for an hour now!" I turned over to a tall man yelling at me, the most recognizable and memorable parts of him were his blonde hair, and the fact that he was a lot taller than me. "Why in the fuck did you help that kid? You messed everything up! People die here all the time! That building is just for show you fucking dumbass!" I couldn't muster a single tear even though I felt a deep sorrow for the boy who was killed, and I shiver from just how much hate and evil was coming from the blonde man. 

I then take a moment to look around, and every student is in a fight with someone else. The ground is almost covered in blood but the school somehow manages to stay looking somewhat clean. Despite still looking clean, the school looks absolutely disgusting. I hear screaming in a language that I don't speak, and I start to run away from the tall blonde man, who's carrying a gun that he wasn't carrying before. I know I'm dreaming, but there's still a push inside of me that doesn't want to die at the hands of a monster. The reason this man has behind not just shooting me on the spot, I'm not so sure. He's taunting me, and I feel a lot smaller than I have in a while. I can't understand what the blonde man is saying anymore, and I can't figure out if that was a victory or a loss.

There's panic all around me, no matter where I run. The panic and sadness is matched with hatred and corruption. I try to run through the grass field, but no matter how far I go away from the school, I always end up back at the school. No matter how many times I try to wake myself up, I stay in the dream. I'm dodging people throwing knives at me as I fight desperately to wake up until I sneeze, something I never do in my dreams, and open my eyes to see Mario in front of me. The video game character. Someone who should've made things seem less intense, him being here should be amusing to me. I don't know why an intense fear and regret came over my body the moment I saw him. I start to back up, and Mario isn't even saying anything coherent. It's either noises or catchphrases from the games he's in. I don't know why I'm so upset. Until I utter a single sentence. 

_ "I don't wanna kill you, so please don't come any closer."  _ I'm now holding a weapon, backing away from Mario as I try to avoid other people in the background trying to kill me. Mario gets hit by a knife, but he doesn't even flinch at it, but I can hear his voice getting higher as he starts bleeding from where the knife was thrown at him. I was too busy walking away from Mario to realise I somehow walked myself into a corner, leaving me with nowhere to go. A couple of people finally manage to throw the knives at me and hit, some of them getting Mario before they get to me. The knives that hit me are all butcher knives, and stay in my skin after they're thrown. It doesn't take long for my shirt to be somewhat sticking to me because of the blood, and there's so much laughter around me. Everyone is laughing at me, the panic and sadness gone. It's like everyone at this school is against me, and the last good person was shot by the school nurse. I guess it's my time to die.

Mario is still not making any sense, but he's screaming at me now. He's supposed to be a joke, I'm supposed to be laughing. This isn't supposed to be hurting this badly. Mario looks like he does in the video games, so why is this still so scary? I can almost feel every knife as if it were real life, and I desperately want to wake up. I should have control over my dream, I should be getting rid of these knives and all this pain. Nothing works, and even slightly touching the knives inside of me causes intense pain. A headache starts to grow as I realise that I can't reason with anyone around me, they're either laughing too loud or I don't know what they're saying to me. 

_ "KILL ME."  _ A sentence that sounded so out of place from Mario, something I didn't think I've ever heard Mario say before this. Even though I'm holding a gun, I can't find myself to fire it. My arm holding the gun is aiming it at Mario, but I refuse to pull the trigger. There's someone next to me now, digging the knives deeper into me to get me to pull the trigger. I refuse. I get shot in the process. Guess I didn't have what it takes. I wake up after this.


	2. Its All So Incredibly Loud

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is named after the new Glass Animals song and-
> 
> THIS CHAPTER IS ALSO A LOT MORE INTENSE THAN THE FIRST. 
> 
> Stay safe and mind the tags ♡♡ Both of these dreams do not have happy endings.

**Dream One:** Things weren't supposed to go to shit, they really weren't. It all started in a movie theater with close friends in the shape of my favourite characters from TV shows. The theater didn't look like any I've been to, but at the same time it looked like a combination of all the ones I've been to at the same time. The movie we watched was about dogs, but I don't remember anything else specific about the movie. I just remember that the movie theater seats were comfortable, and I enjoyed the snacks I brought even if I don't remember eating any snacks. I've yet to eat anything in a dream.

At the same time, something tells me I should be able to remember the movie I saw. I spent so much time in the theater, so why don't I just remember the dog movie we saw? I don't quite remember, but I remember it vividly. After the movie was almost a blur, but I also remember this vividly. The mall we were in looks like a combination of places I've been, but is certainly fancy enough to make me feel special. Make everything feel like it's going well. We were wandering through the mall, laughing and having a good time. I started to feel better than I have in months, with people who aren't even real. We spoke to each other like we've known each other for years. Someone told me they loved me, and I believed it. It felt like true love, even though the person wasn't real.

I believed in that moment in time, a moment that never even happened, that I was worthy of love. Of course, this didn't last long. Now, when people say that you can't read in your dreams haven't been inside of my mind. We were in a skateboard shop that I almost fully walked out of because everything was so loud, that I remember too well. I was able to read something clearly, and while I am not able to type it from memory, it said,  **VOLCANO WARNING! DEATH INCOMING!** Something inside of me, with a voice that wasn't my own, said that the sign was lying, but I didn't want to believe something bad was going to happen. I wanted to hold onto the idea that things were going to stay okay. That's when the earthquake started, more intense than anything I've felt, or ever want to feel in real life. There was screaming from everywhere, the sirens above also started to sound like screaming. Things were growing more tense, and we ran outside in almost a blink of an eye. The fancy mall was nowhere in sight, and we were somewhere I fairly remember, a lone street surrounded by greenery, the air smelling faintly of the rain. The shaking hadn't stopped, no matter how far away we ran.

Something told me that what was happening wasn't caused by a volcano, but at the moment I didn't care. I was just running away, being gently sang to amongst the chaos by the one who said they loved me. I was running away, even though what we were running away from was all around us. At the time, I thought we were going to get away, or that I'd wake up and be out of there. That I wouldn't have to go through anything else, that the worst of it was over. It wasn't. The fallout of the crisis was intense, we were now somewhere I didn't recognize. We entered a building that I've never seen outside of a movie, and at this point, I hope I don't walk into anywhere like this. No one saw me, so I assumed I was a ghost. The person who said they loved me was confirmed dead right in front of me, alongside everyone else I came with. They didn't even get to be a ghost next to me, so I was alone. Watching as the people who survived the incident lay disfigured and crying out in pain, wondering what went wrong. Some people blamed me, and I couldn't exactly argue. I didn't do anything, but I still felt like the blood was on my hands. I woke up crying. 

  
  


**Dream Two:** I don't remember this drama as much as the others. I got this from a dream journal written in 2019, so this just might be a short chapter.  _ I am very sorry about that, I don't know how to talk about my dreams and produce a large word count.  _ This was one of the few dreams that took place in my house. It felt like waking up, and I should've known I was dreaming the moment I walked into my living room. There was a character on my couch, he was watching TV with the most tired expression than I've seen him with.

I don't know why it stuck with me that he was practically dead on his feet. Now that I'm remembering the dream, whenever he spoke to me, it felt like I was speaking for him. Like I wanted him to reply, because I don't think his lips ever moved. I pushed him once, it was more of a nudge, but I distinctly remember that his skin was colder than anything I've touched before. I left him alone after that, the TV show drawing me in. I don't remember if anything was actually playing on the TV, or if it was just a bright white screen we were both staring at. He looked over at me once, and when he did I almost begged him to turn away, but I was quickly distracted by something else happening. Someone was now slamming at the door, a glass door. Something that can break when hit hard enough. I turned, and watched as they screamed at me. He didn't turn this time. I think he was still looking at me. I was a bit distracted to look over at him, and even without the person at the window, I wouldn't have wanted to look over at him anyway. 

**_"YOU BETTER OPEN THIS FUCKING DOOR YOU BITCH! YOU SEE ME, DON'T YOU?! NOW OPEN THIS GODDAMN DOOR! YOU STUPID BITCH! YOU FUCKING CUNT! Ơ̷̧̛̩̖̟̰͎̤̬͇̩͇̻̌̈́̌̇̐̏͂̾̓̒̍̕P̸̧̥͕̩͈̹͕̍̊̾͌͗̐̈́͘͘͘͝͝ͅE̵̥̞̬͔̩̥̠̻̩͉̖͌̏̽͋̏̏̒͘̕͠ͅN̵̢͔̥̆ ̵̯͕͈̘̦͈̰̜͑́́̾̄ͅT̴͙͉̹̖͙̩̺̻̰̲̉̈́̊̂̈́̓̒̿̂̀̓͐̅̚͜H̵̢̛͖̫̫͎̫̯͒̈́̈́̂̔̈́͊̅E̶͙̻̺̤̬̱̜̪̩̔̔̎̎̀͌͊͂̕͜ ̸̧̢̛̟̼̦̬̹̞̈̇̑̈́̋́̽͑͘̕͝͝D̶̩͛̇̈́͌̌̽̂̔̊͘O̶̢̡̘͎͐ͅO̸̳͒̒̅̃̋̓͛͘͘͘͝R̴̛̖̟̈́̔͐̒͊̈́̈͑̓̈́̒̚̕,̶̛͇̤͍͇̃́̅̂̽̅̽̾͠ ̸̗̑́̐̔̊͆̽̾̽͋͂̈́̍͆̚Ņ̷͕̫͈͎͔͎̲̮̺̻̬̋̊̿̊͘̚Ǫ̶̢̺͓̪̜̰̏̇͝W̷̡̧̲̖̮̥̝̜͓͎̟̘̹̖̱̃̄̎̾̊̽̀͘͝."_ **

The screaming never deviated from this, but there was something about it that sticks with me to this day. The voice. The way the voice would glitch and skip, something someone in my line of sight shouldn't do with their voice. The voice also almost sounded like it was in desperate pain, and I could've sworn I heard it scream,  _ Help Me,  _ between each scream damning me to hell. I tried getting him to help me out but of course, he doesn't move. And I can't touch him, he's too cold. So, I stand there, petrified as I dearly hope the glass doesn't break. The screaming never gets quieter, I never find a way to get used to it. As a matter of fact, before the dream ended, it started to get louder. The moment the screaming started to get louder, I felt genuinely afraid the glass was going to break. That I was going to die. 

I started to move away from the window, but my legs froze the moment the glass started to shatter. I couldn't move and the glass was breaking. I couldn't run away. The screaming was getting louder because the glass was breaking. What was outside was going to finally kill me. Do what they promised they were going to do. He was still steadfast on the couch, looking tired and still hasn't taken an obvious breath of air since the last time I've looked at him. Once again, looking over at him was an unpleasant experience in itself. It occurred to me right before the dream ended, right when the glass door completely broke, that he was probably dead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woop woop this what I dream

**Author's Note:**

> Any dream interpretations in the comments would be v appreciated ♡
> 
> Ch.1 note: a bit of a short chapter ik, hope the next chapters are a bit longer ♡


End file.
